Stories from a Guy
I think everyone has a story to share, and I'd like to think I have a few of my own. My name is David, I'm from Guatemala - born and raised. I'll be posting periodically on here.
Stories from a Guy
I think everyone has a story to share, and I'd like to think I have a few of my own. My name is David, I'm from Guatemala - born and raised. I'll be posting periodically on here, sharing what I’ve lived and what I long to live for.
I don’t think the first post should be about something tragic or eventful, or a dream I hold dearly. Rather a glimpse into who I am, and why I am doing this.
I think being a human being is hard, whether you are getting food at a grocery store or picking it out from your land (and I don’t mean Victoria and David Beckham on their farm). Nobody — absolutely nobody — has it figured out, and maybe that’s the beauty of it. There isn’t much sense in living this life if you aren’t enjoying it, and I haven’t truly been enjoying it in a while. That’s not to say I don’t have everything I’ve ever wanted: a job with purpose, a family that loves me, a partner that supports me.
I’d like to think I’m a simple guy, with simple pleasures. But at the end of the day I’m just as complex as the next person. Sometimes I’d like to be more easy going. I tell myself I’m not because “I care”. Even though that might be true, it hasn’t stopped me from having conversations I shouldn’t have - touching subjects that shouldn’t be touched. Which has taught me the importance of time and place. Some conversations need room to breathe. The ability to be available 24/7 makes it that much harder.
I think about my childhood - how easy that was - and I wonder if I was faking it or if I just had fewer responsibilities. How much time I spent alone, though never feeling lonely - bored but never without something to do. I’m truly grateful for the life I’ve been able to experience. I now have a deeper understanding of my dads obsession with his twenties.
As I’m writing this, two moments in my life come to mind:
A teacher I had in seventh grade, Mr. Breasch, who said I should never write from my own perspective and that using the word “I” in essays was reserved to those with a PhD.
Mr. Mayes, a friend’s dad that pulled me aside at my high school graduation and said, “Remember this time David, as this summer will be the last time in your life you will be truly stress free”
I do not have a PhD and that certainly was not the last time I was stress free. I don’t think I’ve ever been “stress free”. I think when you’re young, you just don’t have the ability to understand the magnitude of some things. For instance, I’ve been with Lucia for three months now. Slowly I’ve realized she probably is the mother of my children. That thought is honestly frightening, shakes me to my core. Mostly because I have something to lose now, and life is so much easier when you don’t have anything to lose.
Being in a relationship has forced me to unlearn certain defense mechanisms that might’ve helped me survive when I was “alone”. However, a healthy, loving relationship will quickly show you that stuffing your feelings down in order to be that easy going guy won’t promise a long lasting future together. Learning the art of communication has been humbling - especially when I thought I was already great at it.
So thats the work I’m doing now. Learning to show up, not just speak; and most importantly to support what I say with actions.